Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Always think about the consequences!
I'm an elementary school teacher so by default I use the phrase "think about the consequences of your actions" or some version of it at least 2-3 times a week. Today, I was sitting in my classroom between classes and started thinking about consequences and what it means to me. I realized that it means...well...too much. Ever since I can remember, I've always ALWAYS considered the consequences of every single decision I've made. You might say: that sounds sensible and responsible. But here's the problem: because I'm always so attuned to what might be if I do such and such, I never every do anything spontaneous! Honestly, I don't care about that. So I'm not a spontaneous person. My husband knew that when he married me, and although he may not always like it, he knows that that's who I am. I am a planned person. So the spontaneity thing is not the issue. The problem is that this total immersion that I have in considering every aspect of what might happen over every decision I make, has stopped me very often from doing things that I think I really wanted to do. I'm not talking about major life choices, just simple day to day things that I don't allow myself since it might...something. It might make someone angry. It might end up costing too much. It might take too long. It might...whatever. And the point is that sometimes I just want to say "WHO CARES what might or might not happpen - just go for it!" but i never do... Sometimes when I bring up these things with my husband, he'll say to me:"just do it" (it being whatever is on my mind) but then after all that pondering, it kinda sucks the juice out of anything that I really wanted to do. Here's the thing that worries me the most: I can live with myself being like this to myself, but I really really don't want to pass this on to my son (and soon to be daughter..) I want my kids to be so confident in themselves that they can be comfortable with every decision they make. I don't want them to have this kind of fear that I always have about what my choice will mean. At the same time, I do want them to learn responsibility and that our choices do...well.. have consequences. Okay I'm rambling on and on just to ask one big question: How can you find the fine line between just right and too much or too little? and the answer is: I have no idea! any thoughts....???